Tuesday, December 16, 2014

German Toilet Paper!

At first glance, German toilet paper looks so light and fluffy.  It's ornately quilted with designs of cartoon ducks, whales, sea horses or other happy looking, friendly creatures.  But don't let that fool you, German toilet paper is only available in the following styles: 3ply, 4ply, Sandpaper and Brillo Pad.  Fortunately, if one runs out of toilet paper, a pick axe, chisel or an industrial drill are equally as comfortable.  To be fair, my wife (A German National) is disgusted by American toilet paper and can't imagine how used for anything other than blowing one's nose!  To prove her point, my wife demonstrated that after folding a sheet in half, it's almost impossible to puncture it.   After her demonstration, I wondered how many layers it would take to design light weight bullet proof vests? I'm pretty sure the only reason why no one has already though of this, is that a SWAT team would look rather silly wrapped up yellow ducklings.  German toilet paper is also deceptive in other ways. While a roll might look full, it is completely empty after using only five or six sheets.  Because every store that carries toilet paper is closed on a Sunday, it is extremely important to make sure you have at least four rolls on standby Saturday night.  But if you forget to double check on Saturday, there is always the pick axe, chisel or industrial drill...

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